Guitarist Jokes

Guitarist Jokes

By Tyrone Mayer
In Dec 7, 2010

The silly season is upon us and what better way than to celebrate with a few laughs. Here is a compilation of a few good guitarist jokes we found. Enjoy!

A Long Guitarist Joke

A fingerstyle guitarist is walking on the beach when he accidentally kicks a bottle. The cork falls off and out pops a genie. “Thank you, Oh Master, for releasing me from my prison of the last 300 years” the genie exclaims, profusely grateful to the chap. “And because of your kindness” the genie continues, “I will grant you 3 wishes”. “But I must caution you” alerts the genie.

“And what’s that?” asks the man.
“Well, you can wish for anything you desire, but whatever you ask for, every banjo player in the world will receive double” explains the genie.
“Not a problem,” says the man.
“Very well then, what shall your first wish be, my Master”
“$10 million in small bills,” says the player unhesitatingly.
“Good choice, Master” and right there on the beach are piles and piles of $10s and $20s. And of course, every banjo player in the world now has $20 million in their account.
“And your next wish, Master?”
“A mint 1930’s OM45 deluxe and presto! right there on the beach is the most beautifully inlaid and superb sounding acoustic guitar he’d ever seen. And of course, every banjo player now has 2 of these guitar’s in their living rooms; knowing of course that they aren’t going to know what to do with one, much less two.
“You’ve made excellent choices thus far, Master; what is your final wish?” The FG thinks for a minute, rubs his chin a moment, squints at the bright sky and says, “You know, I’ve always wanted to donate a kidney” …

Short Guitarist Jokes

  1. Q: What do a guitar player’s fingers and lightning have in common? They never strike in the same place twice.
  2. Q: What’s the difference between a pop guitarist and a jazz guitarist? A pop guitarist plays three chords in front of a thousand people, a jazz guitarist plays a thousand chords in front of three people.
  3. What do you do when you come home and find a banjo player running around in your backyard on fire? After you stop laughing, you put him out.
  4. Why did the guitar player keep a set of drum sticks on his dashboard of the car? So he could park in the handicapped parking spaces.
  5. What do Metallica fans say about the first five Metallica albums? Nothing Else Matters
  6. How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Give him some sheet music.
  7. What do you say to a guitar player in a 3-piece suit? “Will the defendant please rise …”
  8. A Guitarist and a Bassist are arguing backstage and the Drummer walks up to them and asks why they are fighting to which the Bassist replies “Well the Guitarist detuned one of my Bass guitar’s strings and he won’t tell me which one.”
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* He is the founding member of Guitar Excellence * He has over 22 years teaching experience * He can play with his guitar behind his head * He is fluent in all styles * He has played locally and abroad * He can get 100% on “Guitar Hero”


  1. Excellent tuition on the blog well done

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